The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
