Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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