Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
