TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
