Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
