we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
