i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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