eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize