I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
