Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
