I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
