apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
