Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Is it because I queefed?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
