dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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