There is no way he is gay with that hair.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
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Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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