Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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