I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Boobs are out for the taking
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize