Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
