I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
