i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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