honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
