...so i touched it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my being single is dangerous.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
