He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
