Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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