I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
