ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
