Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
