forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
