when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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