just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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