People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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