Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
