Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
