i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
