Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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