You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so let's talk penis.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
