I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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