but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
