More tranny stories later!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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