he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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