"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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