yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
