His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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