How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
