Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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