Just fell off a train. Bad.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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