woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
