and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize