Umm I'm too high to move.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize