roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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