cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
