moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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