dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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