What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
