if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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