that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
