I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
