after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
