He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
