I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
